Being single is not a death sentence. Sure its not ideal but the time spent stressing about your singularity is time and energy misused. But then again what do I know… I am 31 years old and I have only experienced fragments of love. No genuine commitments. No Flowers and chocolates. No corny notes. No heartfelt ‘I love you’s. No extended efforts. No Valentine. No sweetie for sweetest day. No mistletoe kiss. No “Happy New Year” embrace. No, “I just want to be around you.”
And I am Okay.
I accept my part in this everlasting single status. I know I am not the most open and only a small few have had the pleasure of being invited….more so from persistence. But invited none the less. Can I just say, when you are in the midst of discovering your own personality and really have no true definition of one self, you are liable to fall for anything…and/or unaware of how to go about digging a little deeper into the true essence of another.
But i still have no regrets.
Those fragments have actually helped me find my personality. They helped me learn my likes and dislikes. Those fragments were experiences. Teachers of life. I regret none of them. I learned something new from each of them. I have been exposed with each lesson. And because I accept this truth…
I am not bitter.
And patience is a virtue, right?
I am 31. Preparing to live my life as I see fit. And allow love to enter in as it may. Transform organically; as it is meant to. I will be mindful of my lessons that have thoroughly prepared me for the moment I graduate from a singular to plural. But until then I will continue to appreciate the breath in my body, all 4 seasons in a 365 time frame, the life that i bore from one of the fragments, and my gift for transforming experiences into creative works of art.
Singular status has given me much clarity and allowed me to connect with the most amazing person i have ever met…
Because if you don’t take the time to connect with yourself and build yourself up, what good can you be to someone else?
sidenote: this is a retro post I found in my draft folder. I decided to still share because the feelings expressed I can still relate to despite now dating. I am now 33.