Table for 1: Trust

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I do not trust your words.

I cannot trust your actions if they are not aligned with what you speak.

I am special.

The Powers that Be and my mama told me so.

My Daddy respects me.

So, you sir are not permitted to shake up my world without pure intentions.

I want what i want and i only compromise with the deserving.

I foolishly allowed another to partake in breaking my spirit once and i learned never to permit that again.

The Plus side…

I came back stronger than ever and he don’t even know it.

He refused to acknowledge my light.

You must acknowledge and respect my light as I know no other way than to work at making yours shine brighter.

Be Fair.

Be Kind.

Be Love.

Earn this trust.

And we shall be just fine.

Mohna Lyssaa.

3 am: Organized Chaos

Late night/Early Morning, i lie here with something i read earlier in the day stuck heavy on my mind…

“How to Become a Morning Person”

This is significant to me as i know in order to live the life i desire  i must speak it into existence. I must reprogram to start my day when needed and not just when i want to. I am not a morning person by a long shot but i know in order to obtain my many fires and desires within i must change up my routine…or more so create one.

This new journey both excites and scares me because i know it its a fool proof pink print to my ultimate happiness.

Not understanding the big deal?..

I often tell myself “i don’t have time to do my makeup.” “I don’t have time to write.” “Im too tired to work out after working a long day.” “i don’t have the time/energy to do…etc.”

TIME.

TIME.

TIME.

I see the memes. I know the sayings…. “We all have the same 24 hours.” “Cant sleep your life away.” All very true.

I Believe in myself so much i am dedicating to a complete LIFE makeover.

Take the necessary steps to fix what you don’t like and watch ‘The Powers that BE’ meet you half way with blessings beyond what you imagined.

Join me in this Journey of Organized Chaos.

Love,

Mohna L.

Thirtysomething

Various thoughts & discoveries on my 31st birthday…

Today is my second year being a thirty something and I experienced this birthday with a greater calmness than the last. Last year I became riddled with anxiety and disappointment after feeling as if I had failed to accomplish any real substantial life goals. With another 365 under my belt, most of those goals are STILL not accomplished but i have grown to understand and accept that as long as I continue to work towards meeting them with genuine effort that is all that matters.

Today i share a birthday with Denzel Washington, Nichelle Nichols (Star Trek), Gayle King (Oprah’s homegirl), John Legend, Joe Manganiello (True Blood), & Miles Brown (youngest son on Blackish).

Putting a quality business together is hard as F-U-C-K…that is all.

Lose all inhibitions.

Its time to do some adult things like open myself up to a love like Tracy “Mahogany” Chambers & Brian Walker. I think I have grown too comfortable with being by myself.

As with all past years I look forward to the start of a new year…which simply symbolizes a fresh beginning, but if i can be honest, I began working on 2016 goals some time ago.

Goals on Goals on Goals.

MOHNA LYSSAA & REDLIPSTICK will be properly introduced in the 2016 year.

new friends. new energy. positive vibes.

I’m ready to move…seriously.

I want to go to Harpo’s and hear Shug Avery sing.

I love and value my Black people that are constantly made to feel inadequate even by other ethnic groups that are only one historic horror away from being treated the same as us.

Happy Birthday Beautiful and please please please continue to catwalk in love and light. Your destiny awaits you…its simply up to you on how long it takes you to get there. Just make sure you remain honest and dignified along the way.

LOVE,

Melissa/Mohna Lyssaa

Donald’s Daughter: He Gave Me Balance

 

 

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Many of my friends, associates, and/or people that I have crossed paths with in this life have come from single parent homes. And not only is the father absent from the home….he is absent from their lives.

A woman cannot create life without a man. A man cannot create life without a woman. If it takes both to bring this human life into existence…why do so many falter and fail to understand that both are essential in guiding this child into an adult?

I was blessed to have both parents in the home and my father wasn’t just someone who was there…he was very active in my brother and I’s lives. Even to this day he makes sure we have what we need within the limits that he can provide and just like my mother he is ALWAYS encouraging and uplifting. Being around my dad is my safe place. Whenever I am distraught, unsettled, and just simply needing a refresh….I go home. Where I am always welcome.

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Going through my puberty stage was a bitch…let me tell you. I was in the process of trying to figure myself out, hormones all over the place, and crying for no other reason than my hormones forcing me to do so…through this my dad didn’t understand it and I believed he expected me to be able to control it. With me being the first born and him never dealing with puberty before as a parent….it was 3 to 4 years of misunderstandings. Nonetheless, I am happy he cared enough about me to pester me throughout my puberty years in trying to understand me and take extra steps to bond with me.

My daddy is very special to me. Throughout my childhood I have watched him work his ass off to make sure his family is taken care of. He has protected his family from toxic people and situations. He has taken his family on trips. Every morning he would do my hair (until i got old enough to do it myself) and take me and my brother to school. I watched him treat my mother with love and affection and that was my first teacher in how a woman is to be treated and how a relationship/marriage is suppose to be.

There are many  things I have learned from my daddy. Just like my mother he too is kind, supportive, charismatic, and silly.  But the best and most important thing he has done for me is be present in my life and creating balance. I love you and I thank you everyday.

Happy Father’s Day Daddy!!!

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2014: ART COCKTAIL

Every year I find that I become bolder and bolder in the things I want to partake in. Every new year I get ecstatic with what is to come throughout the new year. This 2014 year in particular I look forward to really getting into some amazing projects and adventures that will require me to really step outside of myself and lose all inhibitions. Over the past year and a half I have done an extensive amount of research, planning, and prepping and FINALLY ,  I am ready for implementation. That is my theme for 2014. IMPLEMENTATION!!!!! I mean, whats the point in talking about it and planning if you dont plan on doing anything with it???? Anywhoo, I have composed an ART COCKTAIL of things that I plan on engaging in this year. I love ART in allllllll forms and I’m tired of fantasizing and daydreaming about these things. 

Here is my ART COCKTAIL of things that I have been working on and finally ready to start on, and other things I have always had a love for but never imagined myself doing due to being too timid. Now don’t get it twisted I am still a work in progress as far as being soically outgoing but with this blog and all of my new adventures I will be embarking on I am on the road to being the most socially confident being ever…

ART COCKTAIL:

FILMING…

a Docu-series and Dramedy which is slated to begin this summer. I am so excited about this and actually cant wait to start on this project.

WRITING…/PERFORMING…

I have always had a love for poetry but found myself often times intimidated with writing it. I am going to step out and just write and if I get good enough maybe by the end of the year perform it.

I have talked about writing a book for years. Since this is my year of implementation, I am going to write a book this year.

ACTING…

I never had thoughts of being an actor until recently. I am interested in knowing if with the right training am I capable of being a fairly decent actress. This year I am to take some acting classes to test the waters.

MUSIC…

I have a production company I have started with a couple of partners and it includes music as well as films, etc. This year is about getting some music out.

CLOTHING…

Hopefully this summer, the t-shirt line with some accessories will be available to the public.

DANCING….

I would like to actually learn A hustle (Don’t judge me). No, i dont know a single hustle. I want to also get into working with a choreographer and learning some dance routines.

I sooooo look forward to this year.I am truly stepping outside out and getting into some things I have NEVER even expressed having an interest in.  I have so many things lined up and I just cant wait to share these projects with you as they develop.

I hope all of you have a prosperous and positive 2014! Anything that you have in your mind that you want to do. JUST DO IT!! Stop talking yourself out of it and at least just try.

—-With Love,

                                                                                                                                                                     Mohna Lyssaa

High Standards, Low Standards, I’m Not Budging on my Standards

This is always an interesting topic of discussion. Have you ever been around someone that just had this ridiculous list of things their mate must poseess in order to even get a side eye in their direction? Or how about someone that just simply had no standards at all whatsoever? Or maybe you fit the mold of either of the two…

In my twenty something years of life I have grown each year and through my experiences what I do and do not want in a mate has become more and more defined. I can admit in the beginning I was very laxed..maybe too laxed as far as my standards. Im just simply someone that likes to go with the flow and not get so caught up in checklist but I have learned that it is good maybe even essential as an adult in the dating world to have some standards set in place. Many I do believe whether their standards are high or low often end up disappointed for a number of reasons. Now I am no dating/relationship expert but these are just my opinions based on experiences and observations.

When dating many are hoping for this…..

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But often times end up like this…

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The standards that a person sets in place for their mate says alot about their character as a person. When it comes to High Standards, I actually believe that there should be more men and women with them. Just make sure that they arent toggling the line of reality and “in my deepest dreams.” Expecting your mate to have a vehicle, a career/decent job, an educaton (formal or informal), good grammar may appear to be superficial to some but I honestly think these are just standards. Now if you, yourself dont possess any of these things and hardly working towards these basics then you my friend are requesting a lot. People that are more established like to be with someone that is EQUALLY established.

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Those With Potential

This type is usually the hardest to evaluate whether or not to give a shot. These are the ones that have dreams, smart, and have the potential to be very successful if they just apply themselves. The dilhemma arises because sometimes with the right push, motivatior/believer behind them they become motivated and encouraged to follow their dreams/successes. But, that isnt always the case. With all the potential in the world and encouraging force behind them, the Potentials STILL dont live up to their potenial. No woman or man wants to put all the work and energy into a relationship that their mate cant meet them halfway on regardless of how much you love that person. Potential does not pay bills or put food on the table, but in the same breathe you dont want to get so caught up in the fact that that person is not where you want them to be that you overlook their efforts and hustle to change their circumstances. So basically with this one, actions speak louder than words. If their hustle matches their desire to fulfill their dreams then he/she may be worth giving a chance and just use that time to build on the relationship.

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Compromise

If you have high standards you must be willing to compromise on some of them. No single person is going to meet all of the qualities you seek; just make sure you dont compromise the important ones. Example: dont pass up a good guy or woman because she doesnt have the physique you desire but she holds all the other personality and life qualities. Looks change and you can find ways to work with him or her together without being an asshole about it. Now, on the other hand if you just arent attracted to that person; you just arent attracted to them, but refrain one again from being a douchbag about it.

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Low Standards

This is never good. In your mind, you may believe that you are just being open and flexible and going with the flow. Ummm…thats cool to an extent. Keep in mind that what you allow determines how a person will treat you. If those standards are not in place in the beginning it certainly is not going to work later because your mate has already gotten accustomed to a certain way and please beleieve they will fight tooth and nail to keep things how they are to their advantage. You will be accused of changing and that is okay. Change is not always a bad thing. If he/she cannot accept the changes you are making then its just simply time to move on.

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People with low standards tend to be more passive and less confident and those with higher standards are more assertive and knowing of their worth. I myself have gone from low standards to high standards and I make no apologies for it.

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Please Please Please…….

Dont confuse high standards with Gold Digging. Gold diggers qualities are mostly all centered around money and material things. Someone with high standards seeks someone that is honest, trustworthy, ambitious, educated (formally/informally) established within a career and has a vehicle, whether it be honda or a benz. Know the difference and know your worth.

What are your standards and views on dating standards?

Love,

Mohna Lyssaa

Open Letter to Heartbreak

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I know this may seem odd but, I actually want to take this time to Thank You so much for everything that you have done. Thank you for ceasing all communication with me with absolutely no explanation, for ignoring me, for making me feel like I did something to you, for the disrespect, the cowardliness, and for your lack of consideration for my feelings. And most importantly, thank you for taking me to a place of shame and despair.

I thank you because if it weren’t for you and these wonderful actions of yours, I don’t believe I would be the woman I am today. You taught me the difference between simply desiring someone and desiring someone while valuing them. You helped tremendously in developing my standards to where they are today. If it weren’t for actually hitting rock bottom and riding the bench in the dating game for a good while, I wouldn’t have discovered my passion in life along with  my confidence, self respect, and  self love.

You know how that saying goes, “we met for a reason, either you’re a blessing or a lesson.” Well, I think at this point you know which you are. And without you I wouldn’t be prepared nor appreciative of my blessing that is yet to come. Its kind of unfortunate that while you are going through it you cant really see what the outsiders looking in see but I am just glad that I am finally in a place where I can put things into perspective. I realized I have never been IN love. I have loved before but never IN love. Unfortunately, what I had with you was simply just a bad habit. I never deemed you to be perfect but I always thought that you have a higher level of respect for me. I thought you actually cared about me and respected me enough to be open and honest with me since that’s the way I always was with you.  I now find you to be self centered, arrogant, cowardly, and I have lost all respect for you that I once had and I am disgusted by just the very thought f you. I am willing to take the blame for my part in the this. I admit to seeing some flaws in your character at various points but turning a blind eye because we either was not in a committed relationship, or not wanting conflict so I ignore it. That made me an enabler. But just because I enabled it, unintentionally doesn’t excuse you and your actions or make it alright. You left me to deal with some serious shit by myself and that’s inexcusable.

I do believe you took me for granted as a woman, a friend, and just simply a human being with feelings. You underestimated my strength.  Outside of this letter, You will never hear from me again and even if we are in the same room together you don’t have to worry about me acknowledging your presence because that will never happen.

I am not one to have regrets and despite how you made me feel I still don’t regret any of it. That’s just simply life. And in life you learn and Karma is a Bitch. But please believe, if I ever see you on the street engulfed in flames, I would be right there roasting marshmallows at the expense of your extra crispy ass. Be a success in life, be a failure, I really don’t care. But I do wish for you to experience love. True love. And I hope she does to you what you have done to me and I’m sure others. Maybe one day you will stumble upon this here letter. Maybe you wont.  But either way, I still Thank You.

With my entire heart,

Mohna Lyssaa

WHO IS MOHNA LYSSAA?

Mohna Lyssaa is more so my alias than an alter ego. She’s not a completely different personality….just a new and improved me. I’m not really the center of attention type, I can easily fade into the background. And not really one liking to ruffle feathers , I often times accepted waaaay more than I needed to from others. About a year and a half ago, I experienced something that really left me so broken and damaged to say the least. Now, I am NOT one to wallow in my sorrow and stay in a down and out spirit but for so long. I mean really, at some point steps need to be taken to rebuild yourself and with me it started with learning to love myself again and that meant taking a hard look at myself and some things that had room for improvement. That is where Mohna Lyssaa was born.

She is my confidence within myself that is pushing me to pursue the things I previously wouldn’t have dared to go after. I discovered my passion with her. I am starting to feel like a woman…a STRONG woman again because of her. Mohna Lyssaa is the blogger, business woman, the go getter , not taking no for an answer.

Melissa is the mother, daughter, sister, cousin, family oriented woman, still a strong woman, but a little more private and reserved. Melissa and Mohna Lyssaa  work together and complement one another. One side does not exist without the other. Both are kind, giving, optimistic, ambitious, music enthusiast, and an art lover,  and sometimes it may be hard to distinguish which side of me you have encountered but do know either way it will be a pleasant experience.

With Love,

Mohna Lyssaa

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Journey to Better Health

Let me start by saying that I am proud of myself! Currently in the process of remodeling ever aspect of my life and my physical health is one of those areas. I recently, what was a big step for me, signed up to run a 5k in about a month and that has really pushed me to do what’s necessary to become the runner I desire to be and get in shape at the same time. I’m proud of me for not just talking about it but actually putting these plans for myself in motion… 
 For years I have struggled with my weight, experiencing bouts of not knowing where or how to start the weight loss process or just simply not able to stay committed. I have in the past year done extensive research to better educate myself to finally make my weight loss a success. Hopefully through a handful of entries, where I intend to shed some light on my journey and things I have learned, will you be able to make stride in your own journey if you too are lost in the sauce on what to do.

What I have learned is…

* 20% fitness/ 80% eating habits

Eating clean is terribly important. The cleaner you east the better. And for those that may not know what clean eating is—its where you eat fresh produce and little to no processed food.  About 2 maybe 3 years ago I wanted to do a cleanse of my system so I chose to do the Daniel Fast and that was the best thing I could have done. For as long as I can recall I have always experienced nausea. Having a weak stomach apparently runs in the family and when doing the fast I found the source of my nausea. The fast requires you to give up meat and sugars, and pastas for 21 days and encourages fruits, veggies, and herbal tea, and water. Well my system doesn’t digest red meat very well and while on the fast I didn’t experience any nausea. Now if I do eat meat its primarily chicken, fish, or turkey.

If your eating habits are not the best—it doesn’t matter how much you workout. there will be little to no progress.

*Experiment to decipher what it is you do and don’t like…and please for the love of God do NOT say you don’t like something if you NEVER even tried it

I have found that I am partial to working out  outdoors. I cant really get down with the gym life too much. I love to walk and run outside. On the other hand I do thoroughly enjoy bikram yoga, kickboxing, and racquetball.

Experiment. Try things to determine what you like? Hiking? Swimming? Yoga? Pilates? Wrestling? Boxing? Cycling? Zumba? Belly dancing? Pole dancing? Workout programs like Hip Hop Abs, Insanity, P90X. Possibilities are endless. You just have to finds what works for you. The goal is to stay active. MOVE.

*Don’t skip meals

I struggled with this one. I’ve never been a breakfast person but as I forced myself to at least eat a yogurt or a piece of fruit, I eventually found myself getting hungry every morning. If you choose to replace a meal with a smoothie that’s cool to just don’t skip altogether.

*WATER, WATER ,WATER, WATER, WATER, WATER

Drink it. Lots of it. It helps flush your system and if you are physically active you will need it. Lots of it

*Experiment with spices

The goal is to bring out the flavor in your food without using salt. Try a different spice every week or month.

*Don’t know where to start? Ask yourself these questions, HONESTLY….

How often a week do I eat vegetables? -How much water on a daily do I consume? -Sugar intake, what’s that looking like? – how many meals a day are you eating? – what are you eating? – How much sodium are you consuming? -how much processed food do you consume? Are you eating clean? -How physically active are you on a weekly basis?

Hopefully this helps someone at least a little bit and I will I will be posting pictures chronicling my progress.  Happy Journey to Better Health!

With Love,

Mohna Lyssaa

p.s. check out the link on the bottom of for a black girls guide to weight loss. Amazing site. Learned a lot. Check it out.