TABLE FOR 1

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The touch of his hands against my skin.

The feel of his lips against mine.

The look in his eyes that wraps me in love and safety.

The scent of him that ignites fires.

His wisdom that makes rivers flow….

Is all within my fantasies.

I do not know this man.

I wish to.

But…

My head and my heart are at a constant battle.

Ive grown to be so accustomed to my singular life that the desires of HIM are foreign to me.

I can literally only imagine how it feels to be desired by another beyond the lustful eye.

There is a part of me locked behind a barrier and I cant seem to break free.

I know my worth and i have taken such drastic steps to protect my spirit that i struggle with freeing myself enough to explore..

To Learn.

To Experience.

To Play.

To Grow.

To Bond.

To Touch.

To Be Touched.

This is my chronicle of transitioning into dating at the age of 31 as I have been single for most of my adult life. Learning to step outside of myself.

Mohna. Lyssaa

 

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3 am: Organized Chaos

Late night/Early Morning, i lie here with something i read earlier in the day stuck heavy on my mind…

“How to Become a Morning Person”

This is significant to me as i know in order to live the life i desire  i must speak it into existence. I must reprogram to start my day when needed and not just when i want to. I am not a morning person by a long shot but i know in order to obtain my many fires and desires within i must change up my routine…or more so create one.

This new journey both excites and scares me because i know it its a fool proof pink print to my ultimate happiness.

Not understanding the big deal?..

I often tell myself “i don’t have time to do my makeup.” “I don’t have time to write.” “Im too tired to work out after working a long day.” “i don’t have the time/energy to do…etc.”

TIME.

TIME.

TIME.

I see the memes. I know the sayings…. “We all have the same 24 hours.” “Cant sleep your life away.” All very true.

I Believe in myself so much i am dedicating to a complete LIFE makeover.

Take the necessary steps to fix what you don’t like and watch ‘The Powers that BE’ meet you half way with blessings beyond what you imagined.

Join me in this Journey of Organized Chaos.

Love,

Mohna L.

Thirtysomething

Various thoughts & discoveries on my 31st birthday…

Today is my second year being a thirty something and I experienced this birthday with a greater calmness than the last. Last year I became riddled with anxiety and disappointment after feeling as if I had failed to accomplish any real substantial life goals. With another 365 under my belt, most of those goals are STILL not accomplished but i have grown to understand and accept that as long as I continue to work towards meeting them with genuine effort that is all that matters.

Today i share a birthday with Denzel Washington, Nichelle Nichols (Star Trek), Gayle King (Oprah’s homegirl), John Legend, Joe Manganiello (True Blood), & Miles Brown (youngest son on Blackish).

Putting a quality business together is hard as F-U-C-K…that is all.

Lose all inhibitions.

Its time to do some adult things like open myself up to a love like Tracy “Mahogany” Chambers & Brian Walker. I think I have grown too comfortable with being by myself.

As with all past years I look forward to the start of a new year…which simply symbolizes a fresh beginning, but if i can be honest, I began working on 2016 goals some time ago.

Goals on Goals on Goals.

MOHNA LYSSAA & REDLIPSTICK will be properly introduced in the 2016 year.

new friends. new energy. positive vibes.

I’m ready to move…seriously.

I want to go to Harpo’s and hear Shug Avery sing.

I love and value my Black people that are constantly made to feel inadequate even by other ethnic groups that are only one historic horror away from being treated the same as us.

Happy Birthday Beautiful and please please please continue to catwalk in love and light. Your destiny awaits you…its simply up to you on how long it takes you to get there. Just make sure you remain honest and dignified along the way.

LOVE,

Melissa/Mohna Lyssaa

WHEN BEING A “GOOD GUY” IS NOT ENOUGH

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“SHE ASKS FOR A GOOD MAN BUT IGNORES THE ONE RIGHT IN FRONT OF HER.”

“I CAN GIVE YOU EVERYTHING YOU NEED BUT YOU PREFER THE GUY THATS GON’ DISRESPECT YOU”

“FEMALES DONT KNOW WHAT THEY WANT”

“YOU’RE SHALLOW”

“YOU NEED TO GIVE THE GUY YOU WOULDN’T NORMALLY LOOK TWICE AT A SHOT.”

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MANY WOMEN HAVE HEARD ONE OR MORE OF THE ABOVE LINES OR VARIATIONS OF THEM. IN SOME CASES THEY ARE VERY TRUE, BUT IN OTHERS I’D LIKE TO THINK IT IS A DEFAULT RESPONSE WHEN ONE IS BEING REJECTED.

I SEE YOU. I AM AWARE OF YOUR POTENTIAL. I AM AWARE OF YOUR INTENTIONS. BUT BECAUSE I CHOOSE NOT TO PURSUE A RELATIONSHIP WITH YOU DOESNT MEAN I AM BLIND OR SELF ABSORBED.

I USED TO BE BOTHERED TO SOME DEGREE WHEN ONE OF THE ABOVE LINES WERE SAID TO ME. IT IRRITATED ME AND EVEN PISSED ME OFF AND I THINK “THIS IS THE BEST YOU CAN COME UP WITH?”

JUST BECAUSE YOU ARE A HALF WAY DECENT PERSON DOESNT MEAN THAT YOU ARE AUTOMATICALLY A GOOD MAN IN A RELATIONSHIP.

JUST BECAUSE YOU HOLD OPEN DOORS, GIVE COMPLIMENTS ,  AND WE HAVE BOMB ASS CONVERSATIONS AND YOU EXPRESS YOUR INTEREST IN ME BUT YOUR TRACK RECORD IN PAST RELATIONSHIPS REFLECT A CHEATER, A LIAR,  AND FALSE INTENTIONS AND I AM AWARE OF ALL OF THIS….WHERE IS THE MOTIVATION FOR ME TO ENTER A RELATIONSHIP WITH YOU? I CANNOT HOLD OUT HOPE THAT “IT WILL BE DIFFERENT WITH ME.” I AM NO ONES TEST DUMMY.

JUST BECAUSE YOU CONSIDER YOURSELF  A GOOD GUY….DOESNT MEAN YOU ACTUALLY ARE  A GOOD GUY.

AND THE GUYS USING WOMEN FOR SHELTER AND PLAYING LIKE YOU CARE ABOUT HER FOR A PLACE TO STAY ARE WACK TOO, ESPECIALLY IF YOU ARE OVER THE AGE OF 30. BUT THATS A WHOLE NOTHER TOPIC FOR ANOTHER TIME.

ACTIONS DO SPEAK MUCH LOUDER THAN WORDS, BUT BOTH MUST BE GENUINE AND SINCERE.

I HAVE GAINED A CLEARER UNDERSTANDING OF WHAT KIND OF MAN I WANT IN MY LIFE THROUGH THE YEARS . SO ALTHOUGH YOU MAY BE A DECENT GUY. YOU MAY NOT BE  THE GUY FOR ME. I AM ENTITLED TO TAKE MY TIME UNTIL I CROSS PATHS WITH MY COMPLEMENTARY ENERGY. BECAUSE HONESTLY, WHO WANTS TO SETTLE OR BE THE ONE SOMEONE IS SETTLING FOR?

WHEN DECIDING WHO I FEEL IS WORTH MY TIME, IT GOES A BIT DEEPER THAN SIMPLY HOW YOU TREAT ME. I WATCH HOW YOU ARE WITH OTHERS, HOW YOU HANDLE SITUATIONS, AND HOW YOU RESPOND TO NEGATIVE ENERGY. YOU MAY BE ALL SWEET AND PEACHES AND CREAM WITH ME BUT A COMPLETE PRICK TO THE REST OF THE WORLD….THAT DOESNT SIT RIGHT WITH ME EITHER. THAT ALONE TELLS ME ITS ONLY A MATTER OF TIME BEFORE THAT TYPE OF ATTITUDE BECOMES DIRECTED MY WAY. SO I SHALL PASS ON ENGAGING IN A RELATIONSHIP WITH YOU.

BEFORE BEING SO QUICK TO WRITE A WOMAN OFF AS OVERLOOKING YOU. BEING SHALOW. OR PREFERRING DISRESPECT, TAKE A MOMENT TO REFLECT ON WHO YOU ARE TRULY SHOWING YOURSELF TO BE VERSES YOUR INTENTIONS. THE ENERGY YOU GIVE OFF AS AN INDIVIDUAL AFFECTS THE ENERGY YOU CREATE TOGETHER.

I SAW A QUOTE NOT TOO LONG AGO AND IT WAS VERY RIGHT ON. IT SAID THAT “WE TEND TO JUDGE OTHERS BY THEIR ACTIONS AND OURSELVES BY OUR INTENTIONS.”

JUST MY THOUGHTS ON A SUNDAY.

M O H N A  L Y S S A A

Stylspiration: Janelle Monae

There is no denying the class, beauty and elegance of Ms. Janelle Monae. I’ve been a fan of hers since the “tightrope” days and have been spending a lot of my days lately oooh-ing and ahhh-ing over her style as she has begun to step away from the tuxes a bit, yet staying true to the primary colors of Red, white, and black. These i recognize as her signature colors the same way Lisa Raye is in a committed relationship with White.

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And let’s just take a moment to acknowledge and admire this gorgeous Goddess Braid…

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Stylspiration: Part Trois

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Stylspiration at its finest. Here are various styles that caught my eye while flipping  through magazines and whatnot.20131012-211410.jpg

This necklace in the photo to the right is absolutely stunning———>>>>

The jumpsuit RiRi is rocking oh so effortlessly , Nicole Ritchie strutting in velvet , and the model is rocking a comfy sweater dress below…

And please don’t overlook the long side braid in the illustration below and in the photo to the right ——–>>>

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Nicole Richie is really inspiring me these days…

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Ear Hustle

I find myself listening to a lot of artists that aren’t really getting rotation on the radio (at least where Im at) more and more. Each week I am going to try and share with you some of the tunes I have on repeat. Some are more mainstream…and some are not.

This week we have the ever so charming Azealia Banks. When she first started getting buzz off of her 212 track I was kinda feeling like Ms. Erykah Badu, “shit I tried.” And her attitude and frequent rants really was turning me off about her as a person and that alone was diminishing my interest in even giving her music a chance. Recently, I decided to give her another try with her Broke With Expensive Taste album being dubbed the best album of the year or something to that effect. Well, let me just say that I thoroughly enjoyed the album and after listening to it all I kept thinking was that she is proof that there can be success in creating a lane of your own within a completely different subgroup of hip hop. In a time where hip hop and R&B are basically the same and no longer 2 separate genres, in my opinion, and everyone on the radio for the most part sounds the same, it is refreshing to hear another, unique sound within Hip Hop. I find myself digging the Electronic Hip Hop/R&B sound more and more. Dawn Richards I am also a fan of and her sound is very much in the Electronic R&B subgroup.

Azealia-Banks-heavymetal

https://soundcloud.com/azealia-banks/sets/chasing-time

 

SZA is another one that I love. I dig her style and her music. She and Isaiah Rashad  associated with TDE, (who housed Kendrick Lamar, Jay Rock, and Ab Soul) frequent my playlist.

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SZA_SSENSE
https://soundcloud.com/alex-frances/sza-warm-winds-ft-isaiah

 

This Australian Gem by the name Janine and the Mixtape is a producer and Artist and she too frequents my playlist.

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https://soundcloud.com/janineandthemixtape/janine-and-the-mixtape-dark
https://soundcloud.com/janineandthemixtape/janine-and-the-mixtape-little