WHEN BEING A “GOOD GUY” IS NOT ENOUGH

tumblr_mveq8aoWpm1rojdueo1_500

“SHE ASKS FOR A GOOD MAN BUT IGNORES THE ONE RIGHT IN FRONT OF HER.”

“I CAN GIVE YOU EVERYTHING YOU NEED BUT YOU PREFER THE GUY THATS GON’ DISRESPECT YOU”

“FEMALES DONT KNOW WHAT THEY WANT”

“YOU’RE SHALLOW”

“YOU NEED TO GIVE THE GUY YOU WOULDN’T NORMALLY LOOK TWICE AT A SHOT.”

—————————————————————————————————————————

MANY WOMEN HAVE HEARD ONE OR MORE OF THE ABOVE LINES OR VARIATIONS OF THEM. IN SOME CASES THEY ARE VERY TRUE, BUT IN OTHERS I’D LIKE TO THINK IT IS A DEFAULT RESPONSE WHEN ONE IS BEING REJECTED.

I SEE YOU. I AM AWARE OF YOUR POTENTIAL. I AM AWARE OF YOUR INTENTIONS. BUT BECAUSE I CHOOSE NOT TO PURSUE A RELATIONSHIP WITH YOU DOESNT MEAN I AM BLIND OR SELF ABSORBED.

I USED TO BE BOTHERED TO SOME DEGREE WHEN ONE OF THE ABOVE LINES WERE SAID TO ME. IT IRRITATED ME AND EVEN PISSED ME OFF AND I THINK “THIS IS THE BEST YOU CAN COME UP WITH?”

JUST BECAUSE YOU ARE A HALF WAY DECENT PERSON DOESNT MEAN THAT YOU ARE AUTOMATICALLY A GOOD MAN IN A RELATIONSHIP.

JUST BECAUSE YOU HOLD OPEN DOORS, GIVE COMPLIMENTS ,  AND WE HAVE BOMB ASS CONVERSATIONS AND YOU EXPRESS YOUR INTEREST IN ME BUT YOUR TRACK RECORD IN PAST RELATIONSHIPS REFLECT A CHEATER, A LIAR,  AND FALSE INTENTIONS AND I AM AWARE OF ALL OF THIS….WHERE IS THE MOTIVATION FOR ME TO ENTER A RELATIONSHIP WITH YOU? I CANNOT HOLD OUT HOPE THAT “IT WILL BE DIFFERENT WITH ME.” I AM NO ONES TEST DUMMY.

JUST BECAUSE YOU CONSIDER YOURSELF  A GOOD GUY….DOESNT MEAN YOU ACTUALLY ARE  A GOOD GUY.

AND THE GUYS USING WOMEN FOR SHELTER AND PLAYING LIKE YOU CARE ABOUT HER FOR A PLACE TO STAY ARE WACK TOO, ESPECIALLY IF YOU ARE OVER THE AGE OF 30. BUT THATS A WHOLE NOTHER TOPIC FOR ANOTHER TIME.

ACTIONS DO SPEAK MUCH LOUDER THAN WORDS, BUT BOTH MUST BE GENUINE AND SINCERE.

I HAVE GAINED A CLEARER UNDERSTANDING OF WHAT KIND OF MAN I WANT IN MY LIFE THROUGH THE YEARS . SO ALTHOUGH YOU MAY BE A DECENT GUY. YOU MAY NOT BE  THE GUY FOR ME. I AM ENTITLED TO TAKE MY TIME UNTIL I CROSS PATHS WITH MY COMPLEMENTARY ENERGY. BECAUSE HONESTLY, WHO WANTS TO SETTLE OR BE THE ONE SOMEONE IS SETTLING FOR?

WHEN DECIDING WHO I FEEL IS WORTH MY TIME, IT GOES A BIT DEEPER THAN SIMPLY HOW YOU TREAT ME. I WATCH HOW YOU ARE WITH OTHERS, HOW YOU HANDLE SITUATIONS, AND HOW YOU RESPOND TO NEGATIVE ENERGY. YOU MAY BE ALL SWEET AND PEACHES AND CREAM WITH ME BUT A COMPLETE PRICK TO THE REST OF THE WORLD….THAT DOESNT SIT RIGHT WITH ME EITHER. THAT ALONE TELLS ME ITS ONLY A MATTER OF TIME BEFORE THAT TYPE OF ATTITUDE BECOMES DIRECTED MY WAY. SO I SHALL PASS ON ENGAGING IN A RELATIONSHIP WITH YOU.

BEFORE BEING SO QUICK TO WRITE A WOMAN OFF AS OVERLOOKING YOU. BEING SHALOW. OR PREFERRING DISRESPECT, TAKE A MOMENT TO REFLECT ON WHO YOU ARE TRULY SHOWING YOURSELF TO BE VERSES YOUR INTENTIONS. THE ENERGY YOU GIVE OFF AS AN INDIVIDUAL AFFECTS THE ENERGY YOU CREATE TOGETHER.

I SAW A QUOTE NOT TOO LONG AGO AND IT WAS VERY RIGHT ON. IT SAID THAT “WE TEND TO JUDGE OTHERS BY THEIR ACTIONS AND OURSELVES BY OUR INTENTIONS.”

JUST MY THOUGHTS ON A SUNDAY.

M O H N A  L Y S S A A

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

w

Connecting to %s