This is always an interesting topic of discussion. Have you ever been around someone that just had this ridiculous list of things their mate must poseess in order to even get a side eye in their direction? Or how about someone that just simply had no standards at all whatsoever? Or maybe you fit the mold of either of the two…
In my twenty something years of life I have grown each year and through my experiences what I do and do not want in a mate has become more and more defined. I can admit in the beginning I was very laxed..maybe too laxed as far as my standards. Im just simply someone that likes to go with the flow and not get so caught up in checklist but I have learned that it is good maybe even essential as an adult in the dating world to have some standards set in place. Many I do believe whether their standards are high or low often end up disappointed for a number of reasons. Now I am no dating/relationship expert but these are just my opinions based on experiences and observations.
When dating many are hoping for this…..
But often times end up like this…
The standards that a person sets in place for their mate says alot about their character as a person. When it comes to High Standards, I actually believe that there should be more men and women with them. Just make sure that they arent toggling the line of reality and “in my deepest dreams.” Expecting your mate to have a vehicle, a career/decent job, an educaton (formal or informal), good grammar may appear to be superficial to some but I honestly think these are just standards. Now if you, yourself dont possess any of these things and hardly working towards these basics then you my friend are requesting a lot. People that are more established like to be with someone that is EQUALLY established.
Those With Potential
This type is usually the hardest to evaluate whether or not to give a shot. These are the ones that have dreams, smart, and have the potential to be very successful if they just apply themselves. The dilhemma arises because sometimes with the right push, motivatior/believer behind them they become motivated and encouraged to follow their dreams/successes. But, that isnt always the case. With all the potential in the world and encouraging force behind them, the Potentials STILL dont live up to their potenial. No woman or man wants to put all the work and energy into a relationship that their mate cant meet them halfway on regardless of how much you love that person. Potential does not pay bills or put food on the table, but in the same breathe you dont want to get so caught up in the fact that that person is not where you want them to be that you overlook their efforts and hustle to change their circumstances. So basically with this one, actions speak louder than words. If their hustle matches their desire to fulfill their dreams then he/she may be worth giving a chance and just use that time to build on the relationship.
If you have high standards you must be willing to compromise on some of them. No single person is going to meet all of the qualities you seek; just make sure you dont compromise the important ones. Example: dont pass up a good guy or woman because she doesnt have the physique you desire but she holds all the other personality and life qualities. Looks change and you can find ways to work with him or her together without being an asshole about it. Now, on the other hand if you just arent attracted to that person; you just arent attracted to them, but refrain one again from being a douchbag about it.
This is never good. In your mind, you may believe that you are just being open and flexible and going with the flow. Ummm…thats cool to an extent. Keep in mind that what you allow determines how a person will treat you. If those standards are not in place in the beginning it certainly is not going to work later because your mate has already gotten accustomed to a certain way and please beleieve they will fight tooth and nail to keep things how they are to their advantage. You will be accused of changing and that is okay. Change is not always a bad thing. If he/she cannot accept the changes you are making then its just simply time to move on.
People with low standards tend to be more passive and less confident and those with higher standards are more assertive and knowing of their worth. I myself have gone from low standards to high standards and I make no apologies for it.
Please Please Please…….
Dont confuse high standards with Gold Digging. Gold diggers qualities are mostly all centered around money and material things. Someone with high standards seeks someone that is honest, trustworthy, ambitious, educated (formally/informally) established within a career and has a vehicle, whether it be honda or a benz. Know the difference and know your worth.
What are your standards and views on dating standards?