Open Letter to Heartbreak

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I know this may seem odd but, I actually want to take this time to Thank You so much for everything that you have done. Thank you for ceasing all communication with me with absolutely no explanation, for ignoring me, for making me feel like I did something to you, for the disrespect, the cowardliness, and for your lack of consideration for my feelings. And most importantly, thank you for taking me to a place of shame and despair.

I thank you because if it weren’t for you and these wonderful actions of yours, I don’t believe I would be the woman I am today. You taught me the difference between simply desiring someone and desiring someone while valuing them. You helped tremendously in developing my standards to where they are today. If it weren’t for actually hitting rock bottom and riding the bench in the dating game for a good while, I wouldn’t have discovered my passion in life along with  my confidence, self respect, and  self love.

You know how that saying goes, “we met for a reason, either you’re a blessing or a lesson.” Well, I think at this point you know which you are. And without you I wouldn’t be prepared nor appreciative of my blessing that is yet to come. Its kind of unfortunate that while you are going through it you cant really see what the outsiders looking in see but I am just glad that I am finally in a place where I can put things into perspective. I realized I have never been IN love. I have loved before but never IN love. Unfortunately, what I had with you was simply just a bad habit. I never deemed you to be perfect but I always thought that you have a higher level of respect for me. I thought you actually cared about me and respected me enough to be open and honest with me since that’s the way I always was with you.  I now find you to be self centered, arrogant, cowardly, and I have lost all respect for you that I once had and I am disgusted by just the very thought f you. I am willing to take the blame for my part in the this. I admit to seeing some flaws in your character at various points but turning a blind eye because we either was not in a committed relationship, or not wanting conflict so I ignore it. That made me an enabler. But just because I enabled it, unintentionally doesn’t excuse you and your actions or make it alright. You left me to deal with some serious shit by myself and that’s inexcusable.

I do believe you took me for granted as a woman, a friend, and just simply a human being with feelings. You underestimated my strength.  Outside of this letter, You will never hear from me again and even if we are in the same room together you don’t have to worry about me acknowledging your presence because that will never happen.

I am not one to have regrets and despite how you made me feel I still don’t regret any of it. That’s just simply life. And in life you learn and Karma is a Bitch. But please believe, if I ever see you on the street engulfed in flames, I would be right there roasting marshmallows at the expense of your extra crispy ass. Be a success in life, be a failure, I really don’t care. But I do wish for you to experience love. True love. And I hope she does to you what you have done to me and I’m sure others. Maybe one day you will stumble upon this here letter. Maybe you wont.  But either way, I still Thank You.

With my entire heart,

Mohna Lyssaa

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